we all come from somewhere

go fly a kite

this is who has been stealing my dreams

more from the sketchbook

from the sketchbook

infinity

a set of skills gained or an illimitable appetite for the unknown

I have been reading Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad; I am still involved in Part 1 but have stumbled upon a thought that has aligned itself with some of my attention.  Lately I have been going through, pardon the cliche, the motions at work.  I cannot seem to fully invest myself the way I have done in past years.  I have considered my trade a challenge and for the sake of the enjoyment I get when the sweat beads on my forehead I have worked hard.  I have created smiles from thin air and I have satisfied inquisitive minds all for the benefit of my own.  I do not mean to extol my work in a manner  which is undeserved but it has meant a lot, to me.  This thought brings me to a quote from Heart of Darkness in which Charles Marlow is speaking into the blackness,

"I had rather laze about and think of all the fine things that can be done.  I don't like work--no man does--but I like what is in the work--the chance to find yourself.  Your own reality--for yourself, not for others--what no other man can ever know.  They can only see the mere show, and never can tell what it really means."

This statement not only creates such a solitary idea of an individuals personal journey but also forces me to admit that I had previously and possibly arrogantly thought that I was alone in thinking such similar things.

My tasks at work which once were a challenge in which I tried my best to conquer, even in the smallest of details, have become quite monotonous and displeasing to my soul.  I feel as if my time in this position has run its course and a new challenge must be risked.  I must move forward and not tread in this exhausted state in which I am no longer fulfilling or contributing to my quest of understanding.

What an incredible idea that part of my journey is over.